Christian friendship is very important in the kingdom of God. God created you for relationships. He wants you in a strong, loving relationship with not only Himself, but also your family, friends, and fellow Christians. He wants you in close, intimate friendships. A friend is a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. Unfortunately, there is a disturbing trend in America. The number of people in our circle of close friends has shrunk dramatically in the past two decades. The most disturbing aspect of this trend is that the number of people who say they have no one with which to discuss important personal matters has more than doubled. This is not good for our society. This was NEVER God’s intention when He created you. Genesis 2:18 (NIV) The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’
One cause of the decrease of friendships is the busy, hectic pace of our lives. It has been said, “If the devil can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.” God wants you to live a simple life, putting time into building close, lasting friendships.
It is the best and truest friend who honestly tells us the truth about ourselves even when he knows we shall not like it. False friends are the ones who hide such truth from us and do so in order to remain in our favor.–Curtis C. Thomas
Another cause is that friendships involve sustained effort, sacrifice, and risk. It can be risky to be transparent with someone. When you open up to someone, you are vulnerable because you are confiding in that person and you have to hope you can trust him or her. You risk getting your feelings hurt when you get close to others. Also, none of us want anybody to take advantage of us. The fear involved with these factors draws us away from people instead of towards them. God does not want you to do life alone. He wants you to understand that in spite of all the potential difficulties, building close friendships is worth the risk and the cost.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, and live. Chained by their certitudes, they are a slave, they have forfeited their freedom. Only a person who risks is free.-UNKNOWN
God designed His church on the idea of Christian fellowship, Christian friendship, and other varying degrees of relationships. God put a desire in you to want to have a good close friend or a close circle of friends. He designed you for Christian friendship and fellowship so that we can help one another and do good works together to advance His kingdom. Jesus was not alone during His ministry. He always had His disciples near by. Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, is your ultimate friend. He set the example for true friendship by living His entire life to love, serve, support and encourage others. He was all about giving of Himself for the betterment of others. Far too many people are looking to have a friend instead of being a friend. I hope and pray that you will reach out to another individual or individuals and make a commitment to be a better friend.
In terms of your own potential friendships, the first question you should ask yourself is what is your motive for the friendship. Your motive for entering a friendship should not be based on what he/she has, his/her position or status, who he/she knows, or what he/she does for a living. In other words, you should not have a self-centered reason for entering a friendship. Proverbs 12:26 (NKJV) tells us The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.
You should only establish friendships because you love, value, and care about the other person. You can further check your intentions by making sure your desire for the friendship is motivated by respect, admiration, common interests, and just the joy of the company of the other person or persons. Your motivation should NOT be to form an alliance or partnership so you can get position, status, or any other selfish desire. You should not be focused only on what a person gives you or does for you. When the friendship is tested, no friendship will make it if it is based on a foundation of selfishness. Proverbs 25:19 (NIV) says Like a bad tooth or lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in times of trouble. The friendship will eventually fail because there is no true commitment.
God puts you in a relationship for what you have to offer to the relationship. If your motivation for your friendship is sincere, anything that could draw you apart will be overcome. Your fondness and affection for your friend will make it worth the effort to maintain the friendship.
Jesus lived the kind of life that pleases God. He was all about serving others and doing good deeds. He walked in love and His life was a model for us of how we should humbly and willingly serve our friends. The Bible says After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash His disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around Him. When He had finished washing their feet, He put on His clothes and returned to His place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” He asked them. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them (John 13:5, 12, 14-15, 17 NIV). You need friends so you will have the opportunity to meet their needs and, thus, develop Christ-like character. Galatians 6:2 (NIV) says Carry each other’s burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. A good foundation for any true friendship is to seek first to serve rather than to be served. If you really want to be a good friend, make a commitment to meet the needs of your friends.
Good friends stay in touch, communicate regularly, and know each other intimately. Today, we have Facebook, Instagram, cell phones, email, text messaging, and other forms of electronic media. Our access to one another is no longer limited by distance. Friendships in this day and age are only as good and close as both friends choose to make it. Regular communication is an important element of good, solid friendships. Friends talk about their likes/ dislikes, joys/fears, and the things that happen to them in their daily lives. Good friends will not only express themselves, but they are good listeners. In friendships that are very close and intimate, the communication is open, honest, and completely transparent. If your friend is a good friend, he/she is interested in what you have to say and will be available when you need to talk.
Jesus wants your friendship and He is the kind of friend who expects nothing in return except a relationship with you. This is the risk of friendship according the world’s view. People are afraid of giving of themselves to others because they may be taken advantage of and there will be no reciprocation. Jesus showed us the opposite view and a different way of serving and living. Jesus wants your friendship. He desires a relationship with you, but He wants to give to you by adding to your life and serving your best interest. John 10:10 (NIV) says …I have come that they may have life and have it to the full. Jesus gave His life for you on the cross. He did what He did because He loves you and love is all about giving. Jesus paid your sin debt that He didn’t owe and you could NEVER pay back! He knew this and understood this and went to the cross on your behalf anyway! John 15:13 (NIV) tells us Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
God is available to you twenty-four hours a day through prayer. He wants to be in constant conversation with you. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (NKJV) says Pray without ceasing. God wants you to read His Word and spend time with Him in prayer so He can reveal His ways to you and you can get to know Him intimately. God wants to hear your honest prayers. He is interested in all the details of your life. Luke 12:7 (NIV) says Indeed the very hairs of your head are all numbered. If He cares about the number of hairs on your head, He certainly cares about all of you and every aspect of your life. 1 Corinthians 6:17, 14 (NIV) says But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with Him in spirit. By His power God raised the Lord from the dead, and He will raise us also. God wants to develop a friendship with you through His Spirit to make you all He intends you to be in Christ Jesus.
CONCLUSION
In John 15:14,12 (NIV) Jesus said My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. You are my friends if you do what I command. Through your friendships you have great opportunities to love as Jesus commanded you to do. A good friendship brings joy into your life. You are at peace in the company of your friends. A true friendship involves the qualities of patience, kindness, gentleness, and faithfulness. A loving Christian friendship does not have evidence of envy, jealousy, pride, boasting, or selfishness. The people in close Christian friendships are not rude, easily angered, and keep no record of wrongs. Good friends display self-control, do not delight in evil, but rejoice with the truth. A true friendship always protects and defends, always trusts, hopes for the best, and always perseveres. Jesus is the greatest example of friendship because He does all these things for those who believe and trust in Him. A friendship built on the foundation of love will NEVER fail! Jesus wants to be your friend. He said Whoever has My commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves Me. He who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I too will love him and show Myself to him. I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete (John 14:21, 15:11 NIV). You will NEVER have a friend who loves you as much as Jesus. He is the best friend you will EVER have!!! Make Him your closest friend and you are on your way to living the victorious Christian life God has called you to live.
Go Live The Victory!
