Christian dating is all about the process of finding the spouse who firmly believes in the Christian faith. Genesis 2:18 (NKJV) says, And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’ From this, we see that God’s intention is for men and women to be in relationships. Christian dating is one method of beginning a relationship with the opposite sex. Proverbs 18:22 (NIV) says, He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.
Dating should not be taken lightly because it is the first step that will lead you to:
1. The person you will eventually marry.
2. The person with whom you will have children.
3. The person with whom you will raise a family.
4. The person with whom you will spend the rest of your life.
There is already a 50% divorce rate, so dating the world’s way obviously has some flaws. In order to increase your odds of success, you should go through the dating process according to Biblical knowledge. Romans 12:2 (NKJV) says, And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. God’s ways are different from the world’s ways especially in relation to dating and sexual relationships.
“The goal of Christian dating is not to have a boyfriend or girlfriend but to find a spouse. Have that in mind as you get to know one another, and if you’re not ready to commit to a relationship with the end goal of marriage, it’s better not to date but simply to remain friends.”—Mark Driscoll
Christian dating involves two people spending time together and getting to know one another. Their expressed purpose is to decide whether or not to commit to one another as potential marriage partners. Christian dating is not just about sharing a love for Jesus Christ and a belief in the Christian faith. Christian dating involves praying, being patient, and trusting God, and doing your part to allow God to reveal to you the person you will love unconditionally and share the rest of your life with. God has His part, but Christian singles have their part in Christian dating. Your prince or princess is not just going to show up on your door step, knock on the door and say ‘Here I am, let’s get married!’ When the opportunity presents itself, you should be socializing, fellowshipping, volunteering, serving and meeting new people. God won’t do His part if you aren’t being proactive and doing your part.
On your first date, you should know if your potential partner is committed to God. 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NKJV) says, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? Dating an unbeliever is not recommended at all. Marrying an unbeliever is just plain foolish! 1 Corinthians 15:33-34 (NIV) tells us, Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character. Come back to your senses as you ought, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God. God’s intention for marriage is that it would be the most intimate relationship between two people. It would be a difficult struggle and very challenging if those two people had completely different belief systems. The foundation for building a lasting, quality marriage would be shaky at best. This should not be taken lightly because in God’s kingdom, divorce is not an option! Malachi 2:16 (NKJV) says For the LORD God of Israel says He hates divorce… God intends your marriage to last for life and He wants you to seek Him continually so He can guide you and help you achieve this goal.
“A God centered relationship is worth the wait.”—Unknown
“I want a relationship where people look at us and say, you can tell God put them together.”—Unknown
As you pursue a commitment in a relationship, I want to encourage you to think of two phrases: for better or for worse and unconditional love. You will say your vows when you get married and all of them are important but, before you get married, pay special attention and give careful thought to “for better or worse.” You will be making a vow before God to love your spouse and stick with him/her through the good times (the better) and the tough times (the worse). This is where you can test your true love and commitment. Neither you nor your spouse is perfect. Both of you have great qualities and both of you have flaws. It’s easy to focus on the good characteristics. However, reality and truth says you need to determine whether you love this person enough to accept him/her with his/her present shortcomings. Romans 15:1 (NIV) says We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak, not to please ourselves. You have to understand that you can’t change this person and the way he/she is right now may never change. You must make sure before you get married that you are willing to accept this person as he/she is and you will love him/her unconditionally!!!
“You don’t fall into love, you commit to it. Love is saying I will be there no matter what.” —Timothy Keller
When dating or looking for a potential mate, the best way to maintain the proper perspective is to love the Lord above all else. Keep Him number one and always seek Him and follow His ways. Matthew 6:33 (NKJV) says, But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. You should pray earnestly, asking God to guide and direct your steps through the process. Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV) says, Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with supplication, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. The advice I give to everyone in the Christian dating process is to pray to God and ask Him to bring you someone who loves the Lord MORE than he or she loves you! ANYONE in ANY relationship who truly loves the Lord, follows His commands, and is seeking to please Him first and foremost, will be pleasing to his/her mate also. When God is happy, everyone is happy!
“The greatest thing a man can do for a woman is lead her closer to GOD than to himself.”—Unknown
James 1:5 (NIV) says If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. Put your faith in God and ask Him for wisdom and discernment as you seek your future spouse. Let Him know you want to hear His voice in your prayers and ask Him to speak to you through His Word to avoid allowing your flesh and your emotions to lead you off course. Psalm 119:104-105 says I gain understanding from Your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. God will help you make good relationship decisions in your Christian dating. Let Him lead you and He will lead you to live the victory not only in your dating, but also marriage, parenting and every other area of your life.
“If God is going to write your love story, He’s going to first need your pen.”—Eric Ludy
Go Live The Victory!
