You Can Have Success In Remarriage!
“When two families combine, they create a new definition of love.” – Unknown
Christian blended families can glorify God by making a commitment to love, serve, and honor God and one another.
“Bright families are just like bright colors: When you blend two, you get something beautiful!” – Unknown
A blended family is a social unit consisting of two previously married parents and the children of their former marriages. Christian blended families involve the remarriage of two Christian parents who are committed to living for the Lord and raising their children according to Biblical principles. Most people are familiar with the fictional television family The Brady Bunch. They were a very happy blended family with six children that got along perfectly. Unfortunately, that is far from the reality of most blended families. Couples in blended families divorce at a higher rate than those in their first marriage. According to statistics, the natural divorce rate is 50% for first marriages, but it rises to 60-67% for second marriages. While many issues lead to the breakup of first marriages, arguments about children are the main factor that leads to the decline of second marriages. This should be no surprise spiritually speaking.
“You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” –Desmond Tutu
A traditional marriage is two sinners coming together under one roof trying to get along. Add kids to the mix and conflict will easily happen with more different personalities trying to get along under one roof. The best chance for any family to make it is with a love for God, a lot of prayer, the help of the Holy Spirit, and living by Biblical principles. Each member of the family must clearly understand and fulfill his or her God-given role. The same rules apply to Christian blended families. Each member must remain committed to fulfilling the role God has designed them to fulfill. This must be accomplished even with the challenges of a new family in a new setting.
“Being in a blended family means there’s a lot of extra love to go around.” – Unknown
The marriage of the husband and wife is what brings the blended family together. Their love for God, for each other, and the fulfillment of their Biblical roles must be the driving force to maintain peace, order and harmony in the blended family. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). The wife is to submit to her husband and respect him (Ephesians 5:22,33).
Marriage is a partnership and the stronger the union, the stronger the family. Children will respond to what they see more than what you say. Your children need to see two people who are loving, united, and living as one flesh (Ephesians 5:31, Genesis 2:24). There should be a lot communication about your children. The husband and wife should be in absolute agreement about rules, expectations, and discipline for your children. You should NEVER have disagreements in front of the children. All conflicts should be discussed behind closed doors.
“The first key to balancing your busy life and creating a peaceful environment for your blended family to thrive in lies in defining your family values—first as a couple, then as a family.”–Kellye Laughery
The two primary responsibilities for children in the family unit are to obey their parents and to honor them (Ephesians 6:1-3). The proper behavior of the children is crucial to the success of all Christian blended families. Each natural parent needs to lovingly and clearly communicate to their own child that they are to respect and obey their stepparent. Any stretching of the rules is non-negotiable. The children should see that each parent is standing firm and supports his/her spouse 100% to avoid any manipulating of one parent against the other. The parents should make the children clearly aware that they will be living according to Joshua 24:15 (NIV) which says, As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD. Parents should make it known regularly through words and conduct that Christ is head of the family and they will be doing things God’s way. When the children know ahead of time what is expected of them, their acceptance of the new family will be easier.
A blended family has its own peculiar challenges. Some children have a smooth transition into a new family environment. Others find it difficult. Children can be unsure or uncomfortable in their new environment. It is critical that both parents communicate regularly with all kids in the home to get a clear understanding of their worries, fears, and concerns. The blended family unit will become more stable and loving when your children realize BOTH parents sincerely care about the feelings of all the children in the household.
“This blended family is twice the crazy, twice the chaos, and ten times the fun.” – Unknown
CONCLUSION
Your family may be blended, but it’s still a family. We all have roles to make our families a loving, supportive unit. Romans 12:10 (NIV) says, Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Do what the Word of God says with hope, patience, prayer, faith, and a whole lot of love, and then you will have a successful Christian blended family. Christian blended families that have resolved to honor God will be a shining light to others, living the victory together, and glorifying God!
“Becoming a blended family means mixing, mingling, scrambling, and sometimes muddling our way through delicate family issues, complicated relationships, and individual differences, hurts, and fears. But through it all, we are learning to love like a family.” –Tom Frydenger
Go Live The Victory!
